DANCIN’ DOGS

Well, I couldn’t let it go about Darby’s comment about Gus and me getting up on our hind legs and walking backwards.  In case, you didn’t realize it, Darby, we are actually DANCING!  Yeah, we don’t just stay up on our hind legs and walk backwards (yes, we do that, but…). In case you didn’t recognize it, it’s the Piggy Pug Two-Step.  We don’t do this just for fun, y’know.  We mainly dance for things that taste good.  

Our Guardian often tells us that the pug creator should have named the breed “Pigs” instead of Pugs.  I don’t know, maybe the person couldn’t spell.  Anyway, Guardian often treats us for “doing our job” on walks, and one day we just got up on those back legs to get closer to the food tidbits.  And it worked! Guardian thinks she trained us—hah!  Live on in delusion.  Gus and I really trained her, ‘cause Gus randomly stands on his hind legs and looks so adorable that she can’t resist rewarding him.  I’m really the adorable one, but sometimes I don’t even have to do the Piggy Pug Two-Step to get a treat when he does this. So I’ll give him the “adorable” just for this. 

We’ve also trained Guardian to treat us when other dogs bark. We look at her instead of those dogs who are saying rude things to us.  And Gus has this weird thing about truck and car engines.  He goes crazy when they are sitting there just idling. He starts going all barky-freaky, leaping around, and turning into a raving idiot.  So Guardian has been pretty successful about getting him to look at her now for treats instead of going puggy psycho.  He doesn’t even have to do the Piggy Puggy Two-Step.  And I get some organic dried beef liver bits just for being there.

DARBY SPEAKING HERE

I love Gus and Jazz. Especially Jazz because I have known her longer and also she made me famous by writing about me on the internet and now I have many fans.  When I am in my house and my Guardian says “Gus and Jazz” I start dancing around because I know I will see them soon. Then when we go outside I know how to get to their house and start running up the street. Even when we are not walking with them, if we pass by their house I look at it longingly.

Walking with Gus and Jazz is one of my very favorite things to do. They do neat tricks like standing on two legs and walking backwards. Their Guardian gives them treats and I keep trying to get one but they are always too fast. Their Guardian would give me one, but I have something called a “sensitive stomach” and am supposed to be careful what I eat.

Gus and Jazz are really lucky because they have short hair. Mine is long and leaves and stuff get stuck in it. When I get a leaf stuck to a foot I have to stop walking until my Guardian takes it out. She calls me “the Prince and the Pea”. I don’t know what that means but Gus and Jazz’s Guardian and my Guardian always laugh. It’s not really a laughing matter.

Gus and Jazz have lots of great sweaters and coats. I have only two coats but I can’t blame my Guardian. It’s hard to get coats for me. If my hair gets smushed down it gets all matted and hard to comb and then I complain. She is going to try to get me some boots for winter because I do not like my feet to touch snow.

One thing I love even more than seeing Gus and Jazz is going into their house. I get to sniff everything and maybe play with one of their toys. When we get close I drag my Guardian up to the door. I don’t get to go inside very often but I am forever hopeful.

OUR BUDDY, DARBY

Darby is a special little dog.  Guardian tells us he is rare.  He’s something called a “Havanese,” which is the national dog of Cuba.  Darby’s guardian says he is part of the “Beeshawn” family, whatever that is.

Darby is Gus’s age (5), and I’ve known him practically his whole life.  He used to be really shy around just about everybody, but he thinks Gus and I rock! He’s never been shy around us, that’s for sure.  Well, I don’t mean he plays rough and tumble like Gus and I do, but he comes right up to us and uses his pink tongue on our faces when we let him.  Whenever his Guardian takes him for a walk and then he sees us, he uses all of his 10 pounds to pull his Guardian to us.  She must be really weak, since she just about hangs on when he does this.

Used to be that Darby would hide behind his Guardian when strange people came up to him.  He’d be very selective about his friends (I think we’re his best friends!).  Now, though, he lets more people pet him and barks really loud when he sees certain dogs he doesn’t like.  He even takes on the big dogs now—well I mean he barks BIG at them! You wouldn't think such a loud noise can come from such a small dog.

We take lots of walks with Darby and his Guardian, round and round where we live.  My Guardian says it’s a pack walk, like Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer (which my Guardian always brags that she’s met him personally several times, even one-on-one before he got all insanely popular. All I know is that she left us for way too many days a year ago to go on something called "The Great Dog Adventure," where she had even more time to be around the Dog Whisperer.) Whatever.

I like being around Darby because then everyone thinks HE’S a girl dog!  You have to admit he's insanely cute, like a girl dog should be (ahem--ahem--like me, of course!).

MAN DOG CAVE

I have my own Man Dog Cave.  It’s where I feel safe. It’s where light can’t make my eyes hurt.  It’s firm and soft all the same time.  It’s awesome!

When Guardian first brought me here, I got put in this wire box.  The door was shut at night. I didn’t like that and my stomach got all funny.  I had to get rid of what was in there making me feel funny.  Guardian was sort of annoyed, but she got it that I didn’t need to be locked in the wire box.  So when Guardian finally left the door open, my tummy felt good, and I felt good.  That’s when the wire box became my Man Dog Cave.

Jazz doesn’t have a Girl Dog Cave.  She loves this big ball thing that she can almost get lost in.  She sometimes comes into my Man Dog Cave in the morning when Guardian gets up, but she never stays.  I think she’s envious, but she also comes in there to make sure I’m where I’m supposed to be.  Sometimes even we nap next to each other during the day (never in my Man Dog Cave), but she’s not gonna get my Man Dog Cave.  A guy has to draw the line somewhere.